Hating Myself

Why did I choose
this self destructive path?
Why did I let it
consume who I am?
Why don’t I ask for
help, when I know I need it?
Why am I alive?

I feel like hating myself
for all the heartache I bring
I feel like hiding myself
not letting anyone in
I feel like hurting myself
to let out all of this pain
I feel like crying all night
to let my tears all escape
and I feel like
hating myself.

Why don’t I run
away from my past?
Why don’t I let
these feelings go free?
Why don’t I speak
the words in my head?
Why am I holding on?

I feel like hating myself
for all the ones I’ve made cry
I feel like keeping myself
locked tight inside
I feel unmasking myself
to show the world I’m a fake
I feel like abandoning myself
because I know I’m a mistake
and I feel like
hating myself.